Christmas is often a special time for families, but making arrangements can feel difficult after separation. School holidays, family traditions, travel and different expectations may all add pressure. The most important consideration is what will help your child feel secure and enjoy the festive period. Where it is safe to do so, planning early and communicating calmly can make a real difference.

Start the Conversation Early

Try to discuss Christmas plans well before December. Leaving matters until the last minute can increase stress and leave less time for negotiation, mediation or, if necessary, a court application. Once an agreement is reached, confirm it in writing, including dates, times, handovers and travel arrangements.

What Should a Christmas Plan Cover?

• The start and end of the school holiday.
• Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
• New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day.
• Where and when handovers will take place.
• Transport responsibilities and contingency plans for delays.
• Time with grandparents, wider family and siblings.
• Telephone or video contact when the child is with the other parent.
• Any proposed trip within the UK or abroad.

Some families alternate Christmas Day each year, while others split the day or agree that one parent has Christmas and the other New Year. There is no single arrangement that will suit every family. What matters is finding an option that works for your child’s age, routine, relationships and travel needs.

Keep the Arrangements Child-Focused

Younger children may be more comfortable with shorter visits and familiar routines. Older children may manage longer stays and should have the opportunity to be heard, without feeling that they must choose between their parents. Try not to use your child to pass messages, ask them questions about the other household or expose them to disagreements.

It also helps to be realistic about travel. Several long journeys on Christmas Day can be tiring and may leave little time for your child to relax. Always think about the impact on your child before proposing or agreeing arrangements. Agreeing how presents will be handled can also help avoid pressure or competition.

If You Already Have a Child Arrangements Order

If you already have a Child Arrangements Order, check the wording carefully. Some orders deal specifically with Christmas, while others contain more general holiday arrangements. The order should be followed unless you both agree a temporary change. Record any agreed change in writing and make clear that it applies only for that festive period.

An informal change will not usually alter the order permanently. If the current arrangements no longer work and you cannot agree, you may need to ask the court to vary the order.

Travel and Holidays Abroad

If you hope to take your child abroad, raise this as early as possible and share the dates, destination, accommodation, travel details and emergency contacts. Consent or court permission may be needed, depending on who has parental responsibility and the terms of any existing order. It is sensible to take advice before booking if there is any uncertainty.

If You Cannot Reach an Agreement

If conversations have become difficult, you do not have to manage the situation alone. A family solicitor can help you set out sensible proposals, and family mediation may give you a supported space to find a solution. Cafcass also offers resources to help separated parents prepare a child-focused plan.

Before applying to court, you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), unless an exemption applies.

Applying to Court

If an agreement is not possible, you may apply for a Child Arrangements Order, or ask the court to vary an existing order. The court can deal with a number of matters, including any contact arrangements or a specific issue, such as whether the children should travel abroad over the festive period. The court’s main concern will always be your child’s welfare, including their needs, wishes and feelings, any risk of harm and each parent’s ability to care for them.

Urgent Applications

A disagreement about Christmas arrangements will not automatically be treated as urgent. Urgent applications are generally reserved for serious issues that cannot safely wait, such as an immediate risk of harm or a threatened removal of the child. Taking advice early gives you the best opportunity to explore the available options.

When There Are Safety Concerns

If there are concerns about domestic abuse, substance misuse, neglect, abduction or another risk to your child, ordinary discussions or mediation may not be suitable. The court can consider safer arrangements, including supported, supervised, indirect or gradual contact.

Practical Ways to Reduce Christmas Conflict

• Make proposals early and respond within a reasonable time.
• Keep messages brief, factual and focused on the child/children
• Offer more than one workable option.
• Avoid making plans or promises to the child/children before agreement is reached.
• Do not ask the child/children to choose between parents.
• Choose a neutral handover location if direct contact between parents is difficult.
• Build in reasonable flexibility for illness, traffic or travel disruption.
• Record the final arrangement clearly and share necessary information.

How We Can Help

Early planning and clear communication can prevent many Christmas disputes. The aim is not always to divide time equally, but to help your child enjoy a calm and happy festive period. If you are struggling to agree arrangements, are worried about an existing order or have safety concerns, our family law team can provide clear, practical advice and help you consider the next steps.

Contact Jordan Wallace in our family team as early as possible so that there is time to work towards a solution before Christmas.